Polygamy is accepted in modern society via divorce

I find myself at an unusual agreement with the Globe & Mail on an article about the polygamy ruling yesterday in BC.

To sum, the article brought out some of the same shared concerns that are found in polygamous relationships that are found in common, society accepted, relationships.

I remember bringing such a topic up in my undergraduate, and of course, shot down.  While true that polygamy has caused damage to many of people.  What about something like divorce. Think of it for a second, in a snapshot high school graduation picture.  We have a man, who with his first wife is celebrating the graduation of his child, however, this man is now on his third marriage, having children in each relationship.  The second wife is present with three kids, the third with his youngest child.  Does that image not look like a scene from Big Love?

Now also think of those three woman, all of whom have sacrificed career opportunities to raise his kids and take care of domestic duties.  He is probably also paying spousal and child support.  So simultaneously he is maintaining three relationships, that involve children, all at once.

All those women and children are in a vulnerable position..

Anyhow, its just food for thought. And No! I am not a supporter of Polygamy.

Brothers & Sisters: How Our Siblings Make Us Who We Are

There was a great article in the National Post (October 22) about how our relationship with our siblings make us who we are.

The author makes some great points about how the dynamics of life's longest relationship influence us as we get older.  In a sense that how we learn to interact in the playroom of our own house is how we will interact in the playroom of life.

The article ends, hollywood-like, that the author still has long lasting relationships with their siblings.  But what I always ask is just because someone still has a relationship with their sibling, does that make them nice? Of course not.  We know siblings fight.  We know personalities clash.  We know people can be toxic.  Sometimes I feel that it takes even more effort to de-friend a sibling due to toxicity than it does to maintain a relationship. So just because someone is or isn't friends with their siblings is the litmus test for being nice, it is the coping mechanisms developed, and the reactions to stress that make someone nice.

Nonetheless, as the title suggests "siblings make us who we are" despite the quality of the relationship.

Canada takes stance on salt, sugar, fats in processed food

After reading that Canadians on average consume about 26 teaspoons of sugar daily, it was refreshing to see Canada sign onto the UN agreement to combat chronic diseases.

Dr. Margaret Chan, the general director of the World Health Organization, and also a Professional Home Economist, slammed the tobacco industry for trying to "subvert this treaty".  She also said:

"Processed foods, very high in salt, trans fats, and sugar have become the new staple food in nearly every corner of the world. They are readily available and heavily marketed. For a growing number of people, they are the cheapest way to fill a hungry stomach,"

SpongeBob is guilty.... along with other shows

SpongeBob has become a victim of the "protect-our-children" movement.

A study performed on kids measured their problem solving abilities after watching SpongeBob, Caillou (an apparently "calm" show said the researchers), and colouring.

The kids who watched SpongeBob performed significantly worse compared to the other to categories.

Of course colouring will produce the better outcome.  What I can't understand is why Caillou was used.  Yes, I understand it is calmer in the sense that the screen isn't bouncing around.  However, the quality, while at times education, promotes whining to get stuff.

I admit SpongeBob is banned in our house, as well as Rugrats, Alex, and Caillou. For reasons Angeline Lillard, the lead researcher said, it isn't just about how much TV children watch, it is the quality.

Be aware of what you are putting on in front of your kids.

Jack Layton, you will be missed.

It was a sad moment when I was flicking through my news feed that I read that Jack Layton had died from his fight with cancer.

I have always found him to be an inspiring leader.  He always had so much passion, desire and sincerity when he delivered his messages.  His charisma will truly be missed in Canadian politics.

Layton wrote an amazing letter to Canadians, two days before he passed.  I am always fascinated with people's last words.  His last paragraph stated:

My friends, love is better than anger.  Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic.  And we'll change the world.

Again... AMAZING.  The CBC compiled together a nice obituary about the man, so did the Globe & Mail.  The Edmonton Journal pieced together a simple timeline of his political career. This article in the Toronto Star is just worth the image displaying Layton's connection with Canada's younger generation.  Rex Murphy also spoke perfectly about Layton and his contribution.

Jack Layton, you will be missed.

Can I Really "Forgive & Forget"?

This, I feel, was a brilliantly written article by Jon Swinton, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  He attempts to address the topic of letting go and building.

I 100% agree with him about the adage of "forgive and forget", I hate it as well.

One thing not covered in the article is sometimes breaks to trust can be so damaging, so harmful, and so traumatic that it will be hard to even forget about on a daily basis, let alone forgive the perpetrator.  Sometimes breaks in trust kill a relationship.  So there is no point in resurrecting the relationship.  Know that that is an option as well.

However, if this a violation of trust that can eventually be repaired, follow the three steps/phases outlined by Swinton.

More F-Bombs Slipping Into PG-13 Movies

I have never been someone to trust the movie rating system.  I sometimes think an R-rated movie (or 18A as it is in Canada) may be a better quality movie, have a morale to it than some of those PG-13 (or 14A) movies.

I know some people who just write R-Rated movies off as inappropriate, and I respect that.  However, I am an advocate of a rating system that is so wishy-washy.  I prefer using Kids-In-Mind.com.  It lays out on a ranking scale the sex, violence, and profanity content.  However, if you don't want to just go by the ranking, there is a list of each of the events in the movie that falls into the category.  Very informative, and it allows us the viewer to make our own judgement on a movie, instead of relying on someone else.

This thought is spurred from this Globe & Mail article that discusses how more PG-13 movies are having F-bombs dropped. There are a lot of nuances in determining whether or not the movie should be PG-13 or R.

How to Understand Brain Differences Between Men and Women Better

Kevin Hinckley, and Licensed Professional Counsellor recently gave a presentation at BYU's education week.  He spoke on the differences between men and women's brains.

He eventually broke things down into key points of how men can better understand women and how women can better understand men.

• Women read and evaluate everything that men do including words, tone of voice, facial expressions, behaviour etc.
• Men are "fixers" and need to realize that women want to be listened to, not fixed.
• Women will keep up on men because they want to take care of you.  For example a wife will worry if her husband doesn't go frequently enough to the doctor's.
• Sometimes men do stupid things, where a woman may attribute the action as malice.  Women need to realize that men just think differently
• The man's brain is sometimes not equipped or attuned to pick up communication nuances, such as hint dropping.
• Allow men to go to their "Man Cave" so they can stew things over and better prepare themselves to solve the problem and cope with stress.

The full article review can be read here.

Children of Cohabiting Couples Fair Worse Compared to Married Couples

A recent study released showed that children of cohabiting couples have a greater risk for negative outcomes compared to children of a married couple.

The great question is why?  Most of the factors are similar between the two couples: living together, in a committed relationship, have children, sharing expenses, sharing wealth, etc.  However, for some reason because married mom and dad have a certificate of marriage their children are at a lower risk for having negative outcomes?  It is an interesting phenomenon.

I recall once having a University professor who called those who cohabit a different breed of human relationship expression compared to married couples.  It could be that cohabiting couples have a different way of expressing and showing love.

Now I am not at all saying cohabiting parents are terrible and married couples are exemplary.  Of course cohabiting couples can raise fantastic children, and married couples can corrupt theirs.

Culture of Violence

This is not about poverty. It is about culture. A culture that glorifies violence, that shows disrespect to authority and says everything about rights but nothing about responsibility. - Prime Minister David Cameron.

 I love that quote.  We do live in a society, or as he says, culture that glorifies violence. We have shifted from the fake wrestling brought to us by the than WWF (now WWE) to the gladiator type of fighting on UFC.  The most popular video games are first person shooter games, even though the recommended age is higher than those playing the games.

This article in the Deseret Morning News, I feel, is well written, until the second last paragraph where poverty is claimed to have more relation to the riots.  Such a simple thing it is to blame the poor for causing such a ruckus in the neighborhood.  But as we learned in Vancouver riots, the ring leaders were not the simpleton, they were youth with scholarships to universities, children of stable and well-to-do families.

Parents need to teach children right from wrong.  Not that this means joining a religious group, this means teaching children to respect rules, laws, authority, elders and human kind.  Parents need to be aware of where their kids are.

Although I am not advocate for charging parents when minors are being prosecuted, it sometimes make sense.

This is not about poverty, this is about parents being accountable for their children.

Does Having Children Prevent Divorce?

In the USA couples who are childless experience a 66 percent divorce rate, compared to 40 percent among couples with children.

Having a child can add an extra layer of commitment to a relationship.  However children do make the divorce process complicated and messy, so therefore it is "simpler" to get a divorce without children.

The article fails to mention what classifies as "childless".  Is it marriages that have no kids at all, or are empty-nesters included?  If empty-nesters are not included and are part of the have children category, we do know there is a spike in divorces when all of the children leave the home.  So in this case, having children in general is not the super glue that keeps a marriage together.

We also can't discount the value system of marriages without children.  The reasoning for not having kids is economical, in that they cost too much.  These marriages tend to be for socioeconomic status.  So there could be a peak in these type of couples having a divorce due to the recession.  In the sense that it may be more economical to be single, instead of paying for an unemployed spouse.

However, have a read of the article here.

Also, check out 21 factors that increase ones risk for divorce.

Women likely to suffer mental health issues after violence

Not to make light of this issue, but this was one of those studies that made me go "Really, we needed a study to come to the conclusion that women who suffer violence/abuse in their lives experience some type of mental health issue during their life, and that the more violence/abuse happened the more likely there is to have more mental health issues?"

Nonetheless here is the article talking about the study involving over 4,000 Australian women.

Keeping track of your Finances may save you Money!

Do you keep track of your bills or spending?  Do you know where your money is going?  Would you know if someone else even took money out of your account by accident?

This article gives tips of how to better keep track of your finances in just 30 minutes, which may help prevent the loss of monies.  The article title, I do admit is a little misleading "How to improve your finances in just 30 minutes" almost in a way declaring financial freedom in 30 minutes.  But it is more of a money tracking method that is beneficial.

Have a GREAT 30 minutes.

Bitterness can influence your health

Are you still hanging on to that grudge from when Suzy made fun of your clothes? Are you still blaming your previous boss for not giving you a big enough pay raise? Are you still bitter about a lot of things in life?

It turns out that your bitterness, negative emotions in general, can have a have negative impact on your organ functioning to also making your immune system less responsive and also making you more likely to contract a disease.

Read the complete article here in the Ottawa Citizen.

If bitterness is impacting, or even controlling your life, seek help in subduing those feelings.  Holding grudges and pursuing bitter moments can have long term affects, not just on your physical health as mentioned in the article, but also on your relationships with your spouse, kids, siblings, nieces, nephews, parents, grandparents, and so on.

Calgary Plane Crash

There was a plane crash in Calgary last week.  As explained in the article Nathan Anderson, who is the mayor of Crossfield, crashed his small aircraft. He and someone I know from when he lived in Winnipeg, went in on the aircraft.

I was in Calgary when the crash happened, and my friend was tasked with removing the aircraft from the crash site.  Since I was visiting, he some how got me to tag along and help disassemble the aircraft.  I tried explaining that I have only worked with aviation software not with the actual planes themselves.  Nonetheless I went.  Needless to say the PHEc and counsellor that I am was useless in removing the aircraft, but I did the best I could.  Plus, it was a lot of fun to be a part of taking the airplane apart.  I learned a lot about aircraft's that day.

I must say that I am AMAZED that no one was seriously injured.  One of life's miracles.

Are We Meeting the Demands for Job Skills

I came across an interesting article in the Deseret Morning News about how we are failing to meet the needs of the market with our current education.  Now, I do realize that not everyone can have, or may want to get at bachelors degree, because if 80% of people had a bachelors they would become obsolete.  But something like graduating from High School and entering a college for some sort of higher education, I think is vitally important.  What stands out to me most in this article is this paragraph.

Consider these national statistics from the report: Of 100 students in ninth grade, only 75 will graduate from high school and, of those, only 51 will enter college. Within six years, only 22 will have a degree and many of those will enter the workplace lacking the skills needed to be hired or have a successful career.

Canada is usually similar to stats pumped out from the USA.  So this is something that needs to be considered worry-some, that 25% of kids will NOT finish high school, despite it being free.

 Read the entire article here.

Doris Badir PHEc

There was a nice article brought to my attention about a PHEc who passed away recently.  The Globe and Mail did a feature obituary on Doris Badir called Expert on Home, Family Issues; Doris Badir redefined woman's role.

Have a read to see the impact a woman can have when you give her an education. Absolutely brilliant.

StarPhoenix:Storm brewing over gender issues

I have debated writing about this "gender-less" child Storm, but haven't figured out a way to say it.  Until today, when I came across this column, Storm Brewing Over Gender Issues in the Saskatoon Star Phoenix.

I just think it's funny that it got classified under "technology".

We're failing our most vulnerable

I found this article, We're Failing Our Most Vulnerable in the National Post today.  I felt it took a different spin compared to my blog post on Failing our Children.

While I agree with her last statement in this case:

The people and agencies who failed the youngsters have learned bugger all. Why are they still charged with protecting children when the guy in the trailer or apartment next door is better at it?

I do disagree that the fault is primarily the government, ministers and workers.  I do believe more responsibility falls on the families, if not the parents, than the uncles, aunts, grandparents, who usually when their sibling or child succumbs to addiction and can't raise the child rarely does anyone step up to the plate.

Nonetheless, it is an interesting read.

Reap what you sow in moods

GETTING CONNECTED: Attitude is key

Alison Graham is a networking specialist, and has great advice on developing networks to enhance ones own business.  Sometimes her articles cross over into how the professional self should coincide with the personal self.  Or sometimes referred to as the public vs private self.  She shares some great insights from her latest flight in her most recent column.

You can learn more about her at her website or via twitter.