The Importance of infant attachment

One of the first key developmental crisis for humans is to attach to a caregiver, primarily a mother. Sometimes that secure attachment doesn't occur, and then there are toddlers, children, teenagers and even adults still seeking for that security. New research found that infants who spent one night a week (or more) away from their primary caregiver (typically a mother) were less attached and therefore have an insecure attachment.

Childhood Injuries Caused by TV's

In 1990 there were 5,455 TV-related injuries. In 2011 there were 12,300 TV-related injuries. This is the result of a new study looking at TV-related injuries. I feel one just needs to consider how TV's are stored today compared to 1990. TV's in the early 90's typically sat on the floor, or on a sturdy table (atleast in my house), with all the weight resting on the table. In 2011, TV's are being mounted to walls or stands, where the point of connection is the piece between the TV and the wall. Sometimes it just takes a bump for TV's to become ajar from their mount and fall.  Better make sure if you have a little one, that the TV is stored safely!

Sleep instead of Sex

There have been several articles and studies done saying that new mothers would rather sleep than be intimate. New research is indicating that sexual desire declines for both new parents. It appears that priorities change as the couple works together to care for the baby, and therefore are tired, stressed, and fatigued by days end. So sleep becomes the priority, because you never know just how much sleep you will get each night with a newborn.

Changes in Young Adult living arrangements.

Living arrangements of those 18-31 have sure changed since 1968. I am not at all surprised at the slight increase in living at home, nor the "other" living arrangements. With more and more of this generation going to college and university (and the cost associated to that), it is cheaper to live at home, or to share costs of living with roommates.

How to Parent More Like a Man

Read more here.

Go ahead dad, it is time to pitch in

The first day of school is coming up, if it already hasn’t. Summer is drawing to an end. This usually means an end to the frequent play days, late family movie nights and other fun activities. Typically these are dad led, or highly involved activities.

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Read the rest at Notes on Parenting.

Substance Use In Adolescents

I recently had the chance to chat with and listen to a seminar delivered by Dean Nicholson around substance use and sexual abuse.  Nicholson is the administrator of East Kootenay Addiction Services in Cranbrook BC. He recently conducted award winning research surrounding substance use and sexual abuse in youth.

Before diving too deep into his results, it is important to outline that drug and alcohol use occur on a spectrum. To start, there are none users. Next isexperimental users, this is 1-3 uses of a particular substance. Moving along there is social/recreational users. This means that usage occurs less than once a week, and the reasons for using are for socializing with peers. These levels are completely normal for adolescents to use. It should be noted that in these categories use typically occurs on weekends.

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Establishing Trust With Your Infant

According to Barbara and Philip Newman infants (birth to two years old) experience the psychsocial crisis of Trust vs Mistrust. A psychosocial crisis is a predictable life tension during a certain stage in life. Psychosical in this sense draws to the point that the crisis is due to societal and cultural influences as well as psychological. Crisis in this sense refers to a normal stressor instead of an extraordinary event.

It is a crisis, in that an infant will either develop trust like attributes or will develop attributes of mistrust. It is amazing that it is at this young age that this is when trust is first developed.

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Births Outside Marriage

The Association for Mormon Counselors & Psychotherapists, usually a dormant membership (except around conference season), has been rather active in sharing news sources around the morphing society.  This is the first in a few articles they have posted on their site that I would like to share.

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It used to be called illegitimacy. Now it is the new normal. After steadily rising for five decades, the share of children born to unmarried women has crossed a threshold: more than half of births to American women under 30 occur outside marriage.

Once largely limited to poor women and minorities, motherhood without marriage has settled deeply into middle America. The fastest growth in the last two decades has occurred among white women in their 20s who have some college education but no four-year degree, according to Child Trends, a Washington research group that analyzed government data.
Read the full article at the New York Times website.

Is Spanking An Effective Way Of Disciplining?

Does spanking your child work? Or does it not work?  Is it an effective tool for disciplining your child and teaching them to be obedient?  According to a University of Manitoba Professor, Joan Durrant, the answer to the question is: spanking does not work.

Answering questions from Stockholm Sweden, she said that spanking, and other types of physical punishment, displays an aggressive conflict resolution model; which is a very ineffective model for resolving conflict because of its negative outcomes. It erodes trust in the child. It creates hostility and resentment towards the parent.  Also, physical punishment may create the environment for lying, as a child may begin lie in order to avoid being punished.

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Read the rest at Notes on Parenting.

Questions Parent's Fear the Most!

Has your child asked you a question that you don't know the answer to? I know for me there are many!  There are some questions that I hope my children will never ask.

Apparently, I am not alone.  We all have questions that we hope our children do not ask.  A study was recently conducted that revealed the Top 10 questions that scare parents the most.

Those questions are:

1. Why is the moon sometimes out in the day?
2. Why is the sky blue?
3. Will we ever discover aliens?
4. How much does the earth weigh?
5. How do aeroplanes stay in the air?
6. Why is water wet?
7. How do I do long division?
8. Where do birds/bees go in winter?
9. What makes a rainbow?
10. Why are there different time zones on earth?

Notice that they are pretty much all science and math related.  However, what jumps out to me is that half of them are astronomy related. The moon, the sky, aliens, earth's weight, and time zones.  Astronomy is one of my favorite subjects, so those particular questions do not scare me too much.

The best part is, I will be teaching an Earth in Space class through the College of the Rockies Continuing Education department in Cranbrook and Kimberley that will be answering some of those questions! Come check it out.

2011 in Review: Top 10 Posts (Most Read)

I must, first and foremost, say thank you to all of my readers for making my blog such a success.  For the past six months, I have been averaging 75-100 views per day! That's  remarkable!  Thank you so very very much!!

The most viewed posts of this year are:

10. I Recommend: Julia Sheer, Jodi King, Sierra Noble, and Stephanie Mabey
9. Helpful Financial Websites
8. Differences Between Social Work & Family Social Sciences
7. Top 100 Graduates from the Faculty of Human Ecology/Home Economics
6. Understanding Why Your Child May Be Impatient
5. Essential Fathers, First Post (I should mention this project is now defunct and a part of www.parentsareimportant.com)
4. PowerSmart - "Two Chickens to Paralyze" - Without Electricity There Would Be No Internet
3. Transition to Fatherhood Course Post-Test Results
2. Lindsey Stirling has released an Album!

and..... The number one post for 2011 is....

1. Autism and the Family

How Birth Order Can Influence Childhood Development

Have you ever wondered if the order you were born in impacted your development?  Do you think the birth order of your children impacts them?  What do you think would have happened if you were the oldest or youngest in your family instead of your current position?

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Read the rest on Notes on Parenting.

Teaching that there is more than appearance

There was an article on the Huffington Post called How To Talk To Little Girls.  Having a little girl, I was naturally interested in this article.  Read it.
From the start it had me realize how often I point out my daughters appearance more than other qualities.  With statements like:
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This Is What Happens When You Don't Listen To Your Mom

M4-MOMMA

SpongeBob is guilty.... along with other shows

SpongeBob has become a victim of the "protect-our-children" movement.

A study performed on kids measured their problem solving abilities after watching SpongeBob, Caillou (an apparently "calm" show said the researchers), and colouring.

The kids who watched SpongeBob performed significantly worse compared to the other to categories.

Of course colouring will produce the better outcome.  What I can't understand is why Caillou was used.  Yes, I understand it is calmer in the sense that the screen isn't bouncing around.  However, the quality, while at times education, promotes whining to get stuff.

I admit SpongeBob is banned in our house, as well as Rugrats, Alex, and Caillou. For reasons Angeline Lillard, the lead researcher said, it isn't just about how much TV children watch, it is the quality.

Be aware of what you are putting on in front of your kids.

Culture of Violence

This is not about poverty. It is about culture. A culture that glorifies violence, that shows disrespect to authority and says everything about rights but nothing about responsibility. - Prime Minister David Cameron.

 I love that quote.  We do live in a society, or as he says, culture that glorifies violence. We have shifted from the fake wrestling brought to us by the than WWF (now WWE) to the gladiator type of fighting on UFC.  The most popular video games are first person shooter games, even though the recommended age is higher than those playing the games.

This article in the Deseret Morning News, I feel, is well written, until the second last paragraph where poverty is claimed to have more relation to the riots.  Such a simple thing it is to blame the poor for causing such a ruckus in the neighborhood.  But as we learned in Vancouver riots, the ring leaders were not the simpleton, they were youth with scholarships to universities, children of stable and well-to-do families.

Parents need to teach children right from wrong.  Not that this means joining a religious group, this means teaching children to respect rules, laws, authority, elders and human kind.  Parents need to be aware of where their kids are.

Although I am not advocate for charging parents when minors are being prosecuted, it sometimes make sense.

This is not about poverty, this is about parents being accountable for their children.

What to do when the power goes out

You are home watching a movie with your family when they power suddenly goes out.  You scramble to check to see if you blew a fuse. They are fine.  You wonder how long it will take to restore the power.  Your children are getting frustrated because they don’t understand that the TV isn’t working because the power is gone, repeatedly asking for you to turn the TV back on so you can finish watching your Netflix movie.

You scramble and find your 3G, 3GS or 4G device.  You huddle around your gadget and attempt to watch the rest of your show while waiting for the power to return.

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Read the rest at Notes on Parenting.

How a rock pile is similar to our support system

I recently went to the park with my kids.  While at the park, my daughter built a “rock castle”, which is just large pile of rocks.  My assignment, given to me by my three year-old, was to drop rocks on the top of the pile, one at a time. I did. And I noticed something.  Sometimes a rock that I dropped would bounce right off of the top and dribble its way down the pile.  I could drop another rock in that exact same spot and it would land right on top of the pile, supported by the rocks around it.  I could take that rock that bounced, and drop it in one of the other piles created by my daughter, and it would stick.

StarPhoenix:Storm brewing over gender issues

I have debated writing about this "gender-less" child Storm, but haven't figured out a way to say it.  Until today, when I came across this column, Storm Brewing Over Gender Issues in the Saskatoon Star Phoenix.

I just think it's funny that it got classified under "technology".