Ambiguous Loss

Ambiguous Loss is a term formed by Pauline Boss.  Here is a clip of her discussing her term and her book.



Thanks to NCFR for posting this in their Zippy newsletter.

Math Ability is "Pre-Destined"

If you are bad at math, blame your gene pool.  Apparently math ability, in this new study, is pre-destined.  In the sense that children have a "number sense" built into them.

So your number sense is something you are just going to have to live through throughout your life. Go Math!

Jack Layton, you will be missed.

It was a sad moment when I was flicking through my news feed that I read that Jack Layton had died from his fight with cancer.

I have always found him to be an inspiring leader.  He always had so much passion, desire and sincerity when he delivered his messages.  His charisma will truly be missed in Canadian politics.

Layton wrote an amazing letter to Canadians, two days before he passed.  I am always fascinated with people's last words.  His last paragraph stated:

My friends, love is better than anger.  Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic.  And we'll change the world.

Again... AMAZING.  The CBC compiled together a nice obituary about the man, so did the Globe & Mail.  The Edmonton Journal pieced together a simple timeline of his political career. This article in the Toronto Star is just worth the image displaying Layton's connection with Canada's younger generation.  Rex Murphy also spoke perfectly about Layton and his contribution.

Jack Layton, you will be missed.

Can I Really "Forgive & Forget"?

This, I feel, was a brilliantly written article by Jon Swinton, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  He attempts to address the topic of letting go and building.

I 100% agree with him about the adage of "forgive and forget", I hate it as well.

One thing not covered in the article is sometimes breaks to trust can be so damaging, so harmful, and so traumatic that it will be hard to even forget about on a daily basis, let alone forgive the perpetrator.  Sometimes breaks in trust kill a relationship.  So there is no point in resurrecting the relationship.  Know that that is an option as well.

However, if this a violation of trust that can eventually be repaired, follow the three steps/phases outlined by Swinton.

More F-Bombs Slipping Into PG-13 Movies

I have never been someone to trust the movie rating system.  I sometimes think an R-rated movie (or 18A as it is in Canada) may be a better quality movie, have a morale to it than some of those PG-13 (or 14A) movies.

I know some people who just write R-Rated movies off as inappropriate, and I respect that.  However, I am an advocate of a rating system that is so wishy-washy.  I prefer using Kids-In-Mind.com.  It lays out on a ranking scale the sex, violence, and profanity content.  However, if you don't want to just go by the ranking, there is a list of each of the events in the movie that falls into the category.  Very informative, and it allows us the viewer to make our own judgement on a movie, instead of relying on someone else.

This thought is spurred from this Globe & Mail article that discusses how more PG-13 movies are having F-bombs dropped. There are a lot of nuances in determining whether or not the movie should be PG-13 or R.

How to Understand Brain Differences Between Men and Women Better

Kevin Hinckley, and Licensed Professional Counsellor recently gave a presentation at BYU's education week.  He spoke on the differences between men and women's brains.

He eventually broke things down into key points of how men can better understand women and how women can better understand men.

• Women read and evaluate everything that men do including words, tone of voice, facial expressions, behaviour etc.
• Men are "fixers" and need to realize that women want to be listened to, not fixed.
• Women will keep up on men because they want to take care of you.  For example a wife will worry if her husband doesn't go frequently enough to the doctor's.
• Sometimes men do stupid things, where a woman may attribute the action as malice.  Women need to realize that men just think differently
• The man's brain is sometimes not equipped or attuned to pick up communication nuances, such as hint dropping.
• Allow men to go to their "Man Cave" so they can stew things over and better prepare themselves to solve the problem and cope with stress.

The full article review can be read here.

Children of Cohabiting Couples Fair Worse Compared to Married Couples

A recent study released showed that children of cohabiting couples have a greater risk for negative outcomes compared to children of a married couple.

The great question is why?  Most of the factors are similar between the two couples: living together, in a committed relationship, have children, sharing expenses, sharing wealth, etc.  However, for some reason because married mom and dad have a certificate of marriage their children are at a lower risk for having negative outcomes?  It is an interesting phenomenon.

I recall once having a University professor who called those who cohabit a different breed of human relationship expression compared to married couples.  It could be that cohabiting couples have a different way of expressing and showing love.

Now I am not at all saying cohabiting parents are terrible and married couples are exemplary.  Of course cohabiting couples can raise fantastic children, and married couples can corrupt theirs.