Book Review: Touching His Robe: Reaching past the shame and anger of abuse

Title: Touching His Robe: Reaching past the shame and anger of abuse

Author: Leslie G. Nelson

Publisher: West Lotus Press (Covington)

Audience: Survivors of sexual abuse, helpers in trauma, Christian based, LDS (Mormon)

Subject: Healing from past trauma

Summary: The author shares her personal sojourn and insights as she overcame her anger and shame from her past sexual abuse. She shares many insights from the bible and other religious leaders as she not only healed emotionally and mentally, but spiritually as well (An area of healing that is often overlooked). If reading for your own healing, this should be done so with professional support. It is also one woman's journey, and is not applicable to everyone's healing path. The hope is that at least one of the life's lessons will be applicable and help the reader on their healing journey.

Score: 7/10 - recommend for spiritual (Christian) healing from trauma.

Amazon: $4.47 Kindle

Book Review: Persistent Poverty: voices from the margins

Title: Persistent Poverty: Voices from the margins

Authors: Jamie Swift, Brice Balmer & Mira Dineed

Publisher: Between the Lines (Toronto)

Audience: Social sector, policy makers, front-line workers, Canadians

Subject: Poverty, low socioeconomic status

Summary: The book gives a voice to several people working in the field and those living a life a poverty. It's a call for action to help increase support for affordable homes, foodbanks, and the mentally ill. It's also a realization that many of us are one accident away, one lay-off away, from living in poverty. The downside to the book is that it is based in Ontario, so while the information is useful, it may not be applicable to other Provinces and Territories in Canada, or other Countries.

Score: 6/10 - Pick it up if you work in this field.

Amazon: $9.99 on Kindle

Stress Response System: The Fear is Real, Even Though It's Not Real

I'm a little behind the 6+ million people that have seen this clip, but it is a great example of the stress response system at work:



The best part is when they say: "You know it's not there," "It's not in the room." But for this meteorologist, the perceived threat was real and her body reacted as if the threat was there. It's an excellent example of how at times anxiety, fears, and stress is a perceived threat, not an actual threat.

Does Anxiety Interfere With Your Child's Life?

The Plasticity of the Brain, and re-training how to ride a bike

There are several things to take away from this video, but watch first:

1. Knowledge does not equal Understanding. Makes you wonder why we say "I know" to someone that is feeling a particular way.
2. Brain pathways, they get set early, and are more difficult to change later on. Think of a highway, and a beaten path - it is much easier to travel on the highway.
3. You can teach an old dog new tricks, as they say, but it may take time.
4. Body memory, those paths that we don't use in our brain, call be recalled.
5. Thought rigidity, sometimes one thought we cannot change, no matter how hard we try. For example, first impressions are difficult to change.
6. When trying something new, if we get distracted, our brain reverts back to the familiar pathway. It is that difficult to change thoughts.
7. And many many more take away's that stand out to you.

7 ways gaming can improve your life

Jane McGonigal was recently on CBC's Q, and shared seven ways that video games can improve your life.

She also has a couple TED talks to her name promoting video games (one, two, three); which is a different approach to how the media portrays video games.

Now she doesn't encourage typical video games, but games that are designed to help solve real world problems. For example, one that I recommend a lot is called SuperBetter.

Also check out her latest book:

Building Self-Esteem: Understanding the parts of Self-Esteem

Frequently we hear people say that they have low self-esteem or low self-value or worth. These can mean many different things to different people.

This is the lens that I view self-esteem from that it is made up of three parts: self-concept, self-efficacy, self-worth. An individual’s Self-Concept is the answer to ‘who am I?’ Usually it comprises their past, present, and future traits, characteristics, performance and accomplishments. Self-efficacy is what you can do with who I am. An understanding of whether one can succeed in particular situations, which has an impact on motivation. Self-worth is the individual’s perceived value of what they contribute to their society, work, and/or family. Self-esteem is then the combination of concept, efficacy, and worth; plus the feeling how much control over one’s life. 

It is helpful to think of self-concept, efficacy and worth, each as sides of a triangle, and that self-esteem is the area of the triangle. Then it is possible to see that as someone’s concept, efficacy, and worth grow so does their self-esteem. As those three shrink, so does their self-esteem.

To help someone build their self-esteem, it is not just about helping them feel good about themselves or having confidence. It starts with the Johari Window principle. Helping them understand themselves. There are parts to a person that only they know about and that they and the people around them know. Then there are also blind spots, parts to a person that only people around them see. One of the first things I recommend is for a person to talk to a couple people that care about them (usually parents or extended family) and learn more about themselves, their family history, and what they think they will become.

Next after learning more about “who I am” – increasing self-concept, it is then important to understand what you can do with what you know about yourself. For me personally, I have learned in my family history that only three people have lived past the age of 80 – all female. So I know I have a limited time, almost an expiry date, which helps motivate me to do things and enjoy the present moment at home and at work.

After learning who one is, what you can do with it – and if that brings motivation, it is now interpreting the perceptions about the value you can contribute to society. Perception is influenced by feedback from family, friends, and society.

With all those parts combined, that makes up self-esteem.

While it is important to build self-esteem, it is even more vital to know what self-esteem is so that the smaller sections of the triangle can be built up.