24 January 2011

Continue Getting to Know Your Spouse

How well do you know your spouse? If they were standing in line this past month to return an item you got them during the holidays might be a sign that you may not know them as well as you think. A recent study found that we know our spouse best at two years and one month, and least at 40 years and 11 months. Seems a little backwards, doesn’t it? You’d think the longer you are together, the more you’d know eachother.

We live in a society that doesn’t want you to get older. Ever been standing in the grocery line and looked at the magazines? The models never seem to age. The same is true when you look at the models advertising certain products. They never age! They never change!

We are bombarded with messages that tell us not to age, not to put on weight, not to have any sort of body changes. Even after getting married and having kids, we are supposed to not change.

Also think of all the surgeries, make-up and other age covering materials that are available to us, so that we can “stop” aging.

This philosophy is carried over from the physical aspect, to our mental and emotional relationships with our spouse. We get to know them well by two years and expect them to remain the same. To have the same likes, tastes, and favourites. Well, I am going to share with you something that might just blow the ceiling off of the building. People change. That’s right, people change. Including your spouse.

We need to grow, develop, and mature with our spouse. Your relationship with your spouse needs to grow together, not apart. Here are a couple ideas to help you and your spouse grow together.

Have date nights. Once a week, have a night, without children, to go out and spend time together. Have dinner, rent a movie, go for a walk, or a drive. Spend time together.

Make goals together. Ask each other what you would like to accomplish in the next five years, individually and together, and see what you can do together to help each other meet your goals.

Eat meals together. For sure have supper together. This way you can discuss and talk about each other’s day together.

Stay in touch. During the workday, call, text, email or send something to let your spouse know you are thinking of them. This helps keep the channels of communication open. It also serves as a connector, so that the two of you stay aware of each other throughout the day,

Have scheduled intimacy. Schedule one or two nights a week to be intimate together. What about spontaneity you ask? Have that as well as these scheduled times.

These are just a couple of ideas for you and your spouse to grow together, and to continue getting to know each other. If an idea was sparked while reading, do that. It is your relationship. Just keep in mind that you want to grow together, and keep getting to know each other. Happy dating!