19 April 2014
18 April 2014
Should technology be used as a babysitter?
Last time I indicated that electronics, particularly video games, smart phones, and TV watching, can be beneficial when used to engage, interact, connect and build relationships. Such as family movie nights, face time or Skype, and playing video games together.
However, it is also important to discuss the other side of technology, keeping in mind that we are not throwing out the baby in the bath water, because technology does have a place in our lives.
There is a quote that I like from the late 90’s regarding technology consumption with children: “to be popped in front of a TV instead of being read to, talked to or encouraged to interact with other human beings is a huge mistake and that’s what happens to a lot of children.” Any ideas who said it? Surprisingly it was Madonna. She even referred to the TV as ‘poison’ prior to this statement, rather ironic for a person made famous by the TV, but still intriguing.
Technology can be a ‘poison’ when it is being used as a babysitter or a distraction for children. We have all seen it, a child starts acting up while at a restaurant while waiting for their food, and then they are handed a smart phone to play a game on or stream Netflix. Or the child in the shopping cart, or the child at church, all of who are having difficulty with being bored, they are then handed technology to be stimulated. Don’t get me wrong, I am guilty of this, and I also understand those times when parents use a TV show while cooking a meal.
But the litmus question is: is technology being used as a baby sitter? And if it is, how frequently is it being used as a sitter?
Again, this isn’t meant to shame, we all have room for improvement. Take this as an opportunity to evaluate, because children need to learn to be bored, patient, and to creatively come up with ways to spend non-stimulated time.
Children need to learn that it is okay to be bored, and that they can find helpful things to do to pass the time.
Children need to learn patience while standing in line, while waiting for food, and so on. That they are capable of being still on their own in the present moment.
Children also need time to not be stimulated to have their own original creativity time. Although over stimulation and exposure to many different things may look like creativity, it is not true creativity.
While it may be tempting and easy to distract your child while you are shopping, put the smartphone away, and coach them through what it is like to be bored, and have to be patient.
17 April 2014
14 April 2014
24 March 2014
San Jose Sharks make dreams come true
This was a very classy move by the San Jose Sharks. One of those heart warming stories:
21 March 2014
Decreasing Parents Fear Around Technology
I have been noticing that there is a lot of fear around raising children and teenagers in the technology age.
Whether it is because of the shame that the mommy wars creates, i.e. who let’s their child watch TV less; or all of the shame that comes from research connecting excessive TV watching to: ADHD, Autism, poor school performance, defiant behaviour, drug use, etc. And if we dare expose our children to the TV or any other screen we are causing them harm, and therefore are harmful parents.
There has been so much research on this topic that there is instant fear and shame created whenever a new study is released, and ironically it is over-dramatized by the media. Plus, we tend to over generalize the results that we forget that: how each child uses, responds to, and copes with technology, is unique.
But because of this fear response to screen use, technology sometimes gets treated like a forbidden fruit, and then it becomes even more desirable, which creates further strain on the parent-child relationship.
With all of this fear and shame hovering around the screen, we have forgotten to look at the many benefits, and positive uses for technology, which research has shown, that can help ease the forbidden fruit syndrome and the parent-child relationship.
For example, research from Brigham Young University revealed that relationship enhancement can occur when dad’s play video games with their daughters. The University of Victoria has found that teens who play team based video games use and adapt those social skills to real life situations. The lead author in that study, Kathy Sanford, said in an interview: “People criticize gaming because it is sedentary. But we wouldn’t be upset if those kids were reading a book.” Video game playing, especially for teenage boys, has become the 2014 version of storytelling, especially when you consider the storylines for some of the games.
Not to mention that technology has allowed for connection and communication. We can easily connect with family and friends across the country or across the world.
Parents, try to engage with your child in using technology. Let go of some of that fear of not understanding technology and the shame that comes with it, and parallel play with your toddler, child, tween or teen. Yes, there will be moments where they watch a show on Netflix, but as you will parallel play with them and share moments with them, you will begin to understand their world a little more and build a connection.
In the end, the question shouldn’t be “how much is technology being used in the home”; rather, it should be “how is the technology being used in the home?”
Whether it is because of the shame that the mommy wars creates, i.e. who let’s their child watch TV less; or all of the shame that comes from research connecting excessive TV watching to: ADHD, Autism, poor school performance, defiant behaviour, drug use, etc. And if we dare expose our children to the TV or any other screen we are causing them harm, and therefore are harmful parents.
There has been so much research on this topic that there is instant fear and shame created whenever a new study is released, and ironically it is over-dramatized by the media. Plus, we tend to over generalize the results that we forget that: how each child uses, responds to, and copes with technology, is unique.
But because of this fear response to screen use, technology sometimes gets treated like a forbidden fruit, and then it becomes even more desirable, which creates further strain on the parent-child relationship.
With all of this fear and shame hovering around the screen, we have forgotten to look at the many benefits, and positive uses for technology, which research has shown, that can help ease the forbidden fruit syndrome and the parent-child relationship.
For example, research from Brigham Young University revealed that relationship enhancement can occur when dad’s play video games with their daughters. The University of Victoria has found that teens who play team based video games use and adapt those social skills to real life situations. The lead author in that study, Kathy Sanford, said in an interview: “People criticize gaming because it is sedentary. But we wouldn’t be upset if those kids were reading a book.” Video game playing, especially for teenage boys, has become the 2014 version of storytelling, especially when you consider the storylines for some of the games.
Not to mention that technology has allowed for connection and communication. We can easily connect with family and friends across the country or across the world.
Parents, try to engage with your child in using technology. Let go of some of that fear of not understanding technology and the shame that comes with it, and parallel play with your toddler, child, tween or teen. Yes, there will be moments where they watch a show on Netflix, but as you will parallel play with them and share moments with them, you will begin to understand their world a little more and build a connection.
In the end, the question shouldn’t be “how much is technology being used in the home”; rather, it should be “how is the technology being used in the home?”
06 March 2014
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